we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize