there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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