are you still at the devil's house?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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