names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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