After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
