the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
