i just had sex bonerless
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
