wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
