East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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