two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and she was petting her beer can
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
