so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
