Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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