so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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