I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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