He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
