Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
