I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
