I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize