brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
