I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
