it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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