Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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