My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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