just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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