why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
