whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize