I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
