Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
