so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
