Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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