I'm jealous of your bromance
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
