Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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