i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
