How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
