dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
