So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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