I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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