Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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