Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
