doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Michael Bay diarrhea
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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