They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize