I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
