i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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