Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
