Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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