my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
