Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
