SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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