hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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