i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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