I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The power of my boobs compel you
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
