Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
