Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
