whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
