I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
