I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize