I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
