So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So vagazzling was a success
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize