His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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