so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
