Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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