my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
