break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
