You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i've created a new STD.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize