I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
