the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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