i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
