Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
