yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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